6 Ways To Overcome Shyness And Gain Confidence
Posted: Saturday, April 01, 2006
by John Edmond
Are you shy? Do you have difficulty coping with people or situations? Then I have good news for you. You do not have to suffer from shyness and you should not feel insecure and fear that you are being judged with every step you take.
Winning the war with shyness takes practice, but is definitely well worth the effort as the result is increasing confidence and self esteem. Wake up feeling good about yourself, able to face the world with confidence and security and the knowing that no feeling of shyness can come in your way of achieving your desires.
1. Every morning, as soon as you get up, get in front of a mirror and say out loud "I feel terrific! I feel terrific! I feel terrific!" Repeat this affirmation with enthusiasm at least ten times everyday until it's ingrained into your subconscious mind. If feel a little self conscious to begin with lock yourself in the bathroom. The results will amaze you.
2. Feel good about yourself. Look your best. Dress up more often. This gives you an extra feeling of confidence and self esteem. On its own just knowing that you look good will boost your confidence and reinforce with others that there are things about you that are worth getting to know.
3. Take a risk at least once a day. It's very invigorating and conquering fears by taking risks helps you grow in confidence and self esteem. Start with small risks and fears and as you overcome them move onto bigger things. There's nothing you cannot do. Be confident in knowing that change can only help you grow, and boost your self confidence.
4. When you are engaged in a one to one conversation, or with a larger group of people, let them know that you're shy. This prevents them from misreading you and they are far more likely to invite you into the conversation rather than leave you just listening and wishing you could contribute.
Many people, me included, find following a conversation in a noisy room difficult. If you are having difficulty say so and move so that you can hear. People respect honesty, and vulnerability and you will attract more honest people into your life as a result.
5. Rejection is a fact of life that everyone experiences. It is rarely you that is being rejected. If you are rejected, for example if you ask someone for a date, remember that everyone has different likes and dislikes. You may be attracted to one type of person and not others. The same applies to other people and you are probably just not their type. That does not devalue you in any way. Accept this and know that you will get over it. Never take it personally and keep in mind that if people reject you it is because of their own likes and dislikes and not because of who you are. You are equally entitled to reject others because of your likes and dislikes.
6. Engage in an activities that make you feel excited and good about yourself or start a hobby that gives you a feeling of relaxation. This could be anything from gardening to Tai Chi to Karate. Take some lessons, learn or master a musical instrument or take singing lessons. Do something that excites you and take a risk. Exploring things that make you feel excited is a great antidote for shyness.
About the Author
John Edmond recently obtained a degree in creative writing and now writes on a number of topics including self help, personal growth and self esteem. Go to http://www.buildingselfesteem.info for more information
This Article has been viewed 79,736 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
More commentsthis is very inspirational....i alwayz struggle with self confidence...but this blog has rily helped me
i love to sing..i do lessons and everything and i play guitar but im too self concious to perform infront of anyone :/ my singing teacher reccomended i do a drama course but im wwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy to shy :( it really bothers me that i get so nervous over things like this cause id love to be able to do something with my singing :(
this article has a lot.i have so much of fear to atttend the interviews but now i wil try to follow your steps
I am no longer shy. Years ago I was. I practiced numbers 2 through 5 above long before this article was written and found that my confidence grew to the point that I was asking girls for dates no matter where I was. To name a few places as I recall, super markets, laundry mats, church, college classes, on the street, in the park, and a host of other places. I even remember being out to dinner with mom and dad one night and seeing an attractive salad bar hostess. As we were leaving the restaurant and getting to the car, I said to mom and dad that I had to go back and use the restroom. Of course I went back to get a number from this lady. We dated for 6 months. It is true the more you do something you are uncomfortable doing the easier it becomes. To all who read this, don't give up and just begin to do it.
I've noticed if I don't state my intention I often get negative results which often cause setbacks.
I've had weird $%&*@$%& happen that makes me believe we have some kind of spirits haunting us as we've had nothing but bad luck with homes and Dad has been constantly layed off or had bad luck at jobs.
Right now Dad likes his workplace *pharmacy* *even though it isn't his dream job* which he has been for 5+ years but a new owner took over last fall and he *the owner* is changing stuff behind people's back.
One of the long time workers paniced and jumped ship leaving Dad to do the work of 2 people which makes him often late but Dad is the only one in the work to get payed over time so I guess that's a blessing.
Dad did a bunch of relief work for a long time but since 9-11 Dad has been going further and further away and the relief work company stopped paying for his lodging and the pharmacy Dad is now in asked him to work before but Dad was holding onto his relief pharmacy job asl ong as possible as he liked the flexibility in the scheduling even though the pay was lower.
The old owner of the pharmacy Dad works at got along with Dad and the rest of the crew and actually stayed a few extra weeks to help the new owner get oriented as the old owner is very old. He actually had a heart attack towards the end of his vacation which either was last year or a few years ago.
He also had a lot of money saved up but spent it all on moving his store but that's another long story.
Right now I am so streesed my mind has time frame events all warped up. I can remember the events but not the timing of thigns which gets all mixed up in my head.
Message to the owner of this website:
My email does not work. Dad has to fix my computer and ever since then my email says suspicious activity has caused my account to be shut down and I need something called a Windows Live ID which Dadn and I no nothing about so if you the owner wish to respond then resopnd here please. :)
I am trying hard to not make my comments seem like spam or hate but it's rather hard to not be angry because I ALWAYS attract boring people it seems.
Now back to my comment.
The point of the story is that our family seems to attract bad luck however we are the most stable out of all our family line which has sadly fallen apart after WW2 when either my Grandpa or Uncle went crazy during World War 2.
It's almost as if he saw or was involved in something that brought about a bad luck curse to our family as our family hasn't been the same since WW2 and I wish stability would be restored.
Too make a very long story short: Dad learned that before WW2 our famly line was pretty neutral in a lot of events *including the Cival War* which we owned no slaves but were still well off and had good familiy values.
You wouldn't know that the way the rest of the family is which they mostly live in Ohio and Washington but we don't live up there because of how unstable they are but still talk to them every now and then to encourage them as there are some members we get along with but not very many.
To the owner of this website.
My email does not work after Dad had to redo my computer from a crash and Dad does not know what to do to get my account online as it says my account was terminated since the change in my computer.
To my comment which somehow got erased when I tried to edit it. This is such a screwy form it makes me feel like @#!$!#$!$!!!
To make a very long story short our family line has been very stable throughout most of history *including the cival war where we owned no slaves* and has had great moral family values.
Durigng WW2 either my Great Grandpa or Uncle * I can't remember which* had something happened that made him go crazy. (The offical story is he got shell shocked and went crazy* but he never talked about it and ever since then oour family got into *sin* and fell apart both morality wise and financally and did pretty stupid stuff.
You wouldn't know today that our family line was a very stable one with a lot of positive vibes and I believe my Grandpa or Uncle saw or was involved possibly in some kind of satanic activity that brought upon a curse. (which would explain why he went crazy and would NOT talk about it)
Being shell shocked is nothing to be ashemd of as it's out of your control but being invovled in Satanic activity is and can be VERY scary from what I've read about if you are with the wrong crowd who has very little moral values for humankind.
I think something very bad happened to him and he died just before I was born too as a result of smoking but I don't think that's the true cause either and it's only a cover-up.
I don't know if you the owner will ever get to my comment or if it will be too late for either of us to respond as a result of my bad luck curse but I feel better for venting out and alreayd have a more positive hope I can someday get my curse lifted.
From what I've understood curses are like layers in an onion and often you have to peel them only to find another layer and another and another till you get to the core but I have no physical guidence or support since my parents are not really intrested in curse removals except thru prayer which hasn't totally worked.
Prayer has helped us toughed things out but not get to the root cause of problems.
If Dad loses his job because either the new owner decided to lay him off or he hits burnout point from doing the work of 2 people is it all right if I vent about it?
I promise to do my absolute best to not be nasty as I need somewhere to vent as even though I am now opening up to my parents more about my feelings it still isn't the same as having an outside person to lean on a bit. I promise to not squish you.
thanku
i realy have no comment but to thank you for the good advice because i have learnt more on how to gain self confidence and on how to over come shyness in public
More comments
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.